Set Fire to the Rain

I set fire to the rain

Watch it pour as I touch your face

When it fell, something died

Cause I heard it screaming out your name

Sooyoung only wanted one thing; love from her father.

With awards, beauty pageant crowns, a certificate of academic excellence from the president and four older brothers who achieved far less than her, she was still treated as ‘just a girl’.

Be home before seven. Bed time at 10 pm. Be a proper young lady at all times. No parties. No drinking. No voicing out of your opinions when it comes to family matters. Men matters. She kept her mouth shut through all the double standards and injustice.

She had to conform to all her father’s wishes and decisions. For as long as she lived in her father’s house, she will live by his rules. .

I let it fall, my heart

And as it fell, you rose to claim it

It was dark and I was over

Until you kissed my lips and you saved me

But all that has changed when she met Shim Changmin. Everything seemed brighter and life had a new meaning. Freedom. Being raised in a chauvinist household, marriage seemed like a good excuse, an escape from her family and its patriarchal clutches. Once she gets out of that house, she is a free woman.

My hands, they were strong, but my knees were far too weak

To stand in your arms without falling to your feet

Changmin was prefect. He seemed to be. Intelligent, charming, well mannered and financially stable. All that topped off with sharp looks that made every lady swoon. Sooyoung couldn’t ask for more. Just a little over a year of a sweet relationship, they decided to tie the knot.

Everything was smooth sailing. Changmin often attended to his businesses, leaving Sooyoung at home for weeks at a time. She didn’t mind. She loved the freedom. She loved the man. Trust was not an issue.

Three years passed.

But there's a side to you that I never knew, never knew

All the things you'd say, they were never true, never true

And the games you'd play, you would always win, always win

Then along came Yeonhee. A faceless name she saw in his phone. A silent cancer that slowly ate the foundation of their relationship built on trust and mutual faith.

"I miss you. Why are you not returning my calls?"

"Yeoboya… I love you"

"It's that Sooyoung again isn't it? Yah~ Answer me."

"I'm sorry."

Messages she read. Voice mails she heard. She kept it all to herself. She never asked. She has learned early in life where she stands as a woman. She never made it obvious that she knew something. She deletes them as soon as she reads her name or hears her voice. But she was pretty sure that somehow, that woman's messages still gets through to his husband. Again she kept her mouth shut like she used to.

But I set fire to the rain

Watched it pour as I touched your face

Well, it burned while I cried

'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

Changmin,

               No matter how much my heart breaks right now. I will cling on to you. Like a leaf clinging on to a tree, for I know I'll just drift afloat aimlessly without you.

               I know that in all those years, even if you are not beside me, there is a place for me in your heart. And no matter how long it takes, I will wait for the day that you realize that it's me. In the end it will still be you and me.

Your love,

Yeonhee

She reads the letter with tears in her eyes. Holding them back, brushing off any sign of weakness. He will not be able to read those words as they will die with the flame of the fireplace. Only the cinders will bear witness to her heart slowly dying.

She holds the piece of paper in her hand and watches the red flame engulf it. Standing proudly, her eyes were saying that she will not back down. She is not just any other woman. She is stronger now, stronger than the girl who only obeyed her father’s words. She will fight.

She wipes her eyes, takes a deep breath and lets the pain burn. Burn it all away.

When laying with you I could stay there

Close my eyes, feel you here forever

You and me together, nothing is better

He comes home and she opens the door.

A hug.

A kiss.

As if nothing has happened.

She smiles as if they were truly a happy couple.

Dinner was served, lies were said. It was all courtesy. She knew something. He knew far even more. But no one dares break the silence amidst the polite laughter.

Bed time comes. She lay in his arms feeling his every heartbeat. Feeling his hands wander across her body, she wonders of his whereabouts. As his lips meet hers, she doubts their loyalty to her own. As his tongue savours her flavors she tastes his lies. And as they became one, doubt, pain and jealousy penetrated her heart.

I set fire to the rain

And I threw us into the flames

When we fell, something died

'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time

Sooyoung takes the call bravely, without a trace of vulnerability in her voice.

"Ok. I booked already. Room 689. Meet you at 7:30" she hangs up.

Holding a brown envelope in her hand, she dares not open it. She was quite sure of what it says anyway. Divorce papers waiting to be signed.

She arrives ten minutes past seven. She opens the door fifteen minutes later and finds the face behind those calls, messages, letters and her heartaches.

Dressed to the nines, Yeonhee is easily a target of green eyes. Her beauty reflected by the mirrors in the ceiling of the room where she used to meet Changmin. Every detail of their logging in investigated perseveringly by Sooyoung.

"What more do you want from me?" the smaller lady asked piercingly. She clutched on her bag tightly that her french tips left marks on the branded leather.

"Nothing. I just wanted to meet you for the first and last time" Sooyoung pulled a chair in a table set for three; her black dress perfectly complementing the stark white table linen. Candles and oil lamps were burning. The scent of jasmine gently danced in the air.

Seven thirty. The door opens and shock registered in Yeonhee and Changmin's faces. Sooyoung's visage remains straight.

"Have a seat." she pours everyone a glass of wine. They gather before a small banquet. The cushioned seats felt as if they were made of nails. She lays the unopened brown envelope in front of her husband.

“So tell me about how you guys met?” Sooyoung asks, devoid of any emotion.

“We were best friends since childhood.” Yeonhee replied. Changmin could only come up with a nod of confirmation.

From the glasses laced with Sooyoung’s frustration and tears, they both drink up out of lacking anything else to say. Each one was of them save for the host was avoiding everyone else’s eyes.

“I’m sorry to have interfered in such a romance.” She nonchalantly utters. She finally smiles and gets up.

I set fire to the rain

Watched it pour as I touch your face

Well, it burned while I cried

'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name

Yeonhee’s wine spills on the white cloth as her head drifted. Both guests started to feel the drug kick in.

Sooyoung looks at her husband in the eye as the other woman falls unconscious at the table. She kisses his lips goodbye, ready to leave the room. His eyes were still fixed on her as he gasps for breath and asks why.

With his last morsel of strength, he reaches in his breast pocket. His arm falls on the wine stained table and a little box tumbles from his hand atop the brown envelope. She picks it up, confused and apprehensive.

A gold band cushioned in red velvet.

Her mouth was agape. She opens the envelope, hastily scanning the papers in it.

Divorce papers signed by Lee Yeonhee and Shim Changmin greeted her too late.

Attached was a note written in her soon-to-be-deceased husband’s familiar handwriting.

Soo,

               I’m sorry for keeping a secret from you. I was married before I met you. We separated after just a year but she wouldn’t sign the divorce papers and kept asking me back. It was wrong of me to keep it from you for such a long time. I couldn’t do anything then but it’s all good now.

               I love you more than anyone else in this world. I kept this a secret because I wouldn’t be able to stand seeing you sad. I promised to make you happy and I want to keep that vow.

              Marry me again?

Faithfully yours,

Changmin

  

She falls on her knees, sobbing on her beloved’s lap. Whispering him an endless sorry as life escapes him every second. She holds on to his hands kissing them gently, tasting her own tears in the process. And with his last breath he says her name for the last time

I set fire to the rain

And I threw us into the flames

When we fell, something died

'Cause I knew that that was the last time, the last time, oh

.

She wearily drags her husband’s remains into the bed. Careful not to let him fall no matter how big and heavy he was. She drinks the rest of the wine and lies beside his lifeless body; hugging him tighter than she ever did before.

She kisses his cheek then drifts off to a deep slumber as a fire slowly consumes the room.

Starting from the candles on the table, burning the papers.

Fueled by the oil lamps, linens, regret and grief.

Let it burn, oh

Let it burn

Let it burn