Today is the eighteenth of February, my birthday. I don’t usually like celebrating days like this, but today is an exception. A few random officemates came and it surprised me as I don’t exactly have friends at work. The few people who are close to me are all either dead or in another country, except for Victoria.
Victoria made me a cake. It was chocolate chiffon that she baked herself. I suddenly realized that I didn’t know how good a baker she was. Or maybe I wasn’t really paying attention to her. The cake tasted great. I told her that and she gave me a smile.
My apartment is suddenly filled with people, party poppers, food and wine that I didn’t know I had. Big print-outs of photographs I didn’t know I took are out for display. My officemates are busy hovering on a photo. It is a photo of a two hands holding strawberry ice cream cones. I honestly can’t remember taking it, but it was beautiful, I have to admit. It gives off a nice warm feeling.
The party is very dreary. I don’t really know these people. It’s very weird because they are all acting so nice to me. They also knew a great deal about me, like my favorite foods, my taste in clothing, my cologne, and small other things that I didn’t know practical strangers would notice in the sterile environment of an office. I found out about this through the gifts they bought me. It was really thoughtful of them since the party commenced on a short notice. I didn’t expect they'd actually bring gifts. I didn’t expect anyone to come except Summer.
Summer is late. Time is dragging like an airglider on land. My officemates are clearly having fun but I’m just too awkward to socialize and too preoccupied about waiting for my most anticipated guest.
At last, she arrives. I’m glad that she didn’t tag Kyuhyun along. She says that he had to work today since he was he was absent the last time because of her. She also brought me a present, a purple tie. It’s weird that I found a purple tie the other day under my bed. I didn’t know I had one. Now I have two.
Suddenly, the air is so tense. Everyone is looking at me and Summer as if we are ghosts.
“Hey! You’re here!” Summer rushes towards Jung Yunho and greets him happily. Yunho is the guy across my cubicle. He seems nice but I don’t remember talking to him that much in the office. He seems to be the type of guy who is too serious about work. He arrives thirty minutes before his shift and goes overtime each time he gets.
“Oh, you know each other…” I murmur. And then Summer proceeds to greet my three other officemates.
Kim Jaejoong, the male bimbo. I swear, our boss hired him just because he looks good. His main talent is wearing the lowest of all v-necklines. When he wears a polo shirt, the first three buttons are always undone. He uses facebook and twitter all the time while on the job. According to office gossip, someone saw Yunho and him doing something weird in the pantry.
“I met them a year ago… in… in…Honestly, I forgot how I met them. But I’m just glad to see you guys here. How did you know Max?” She smiles beautifully before she taps Park Yoochun on the shoulder.
“We are officemates.” Yoochun said dryly. Park Yoochun, the greasiest officemate. Figuratively and literally. He would come to office in the same shirt for three days. He smells and looks like a hobo but he has dated at least half of our female co-workers. I don’t really like this guy. I don’t like how Summer seems to have known him for a long time.
She then bows to Kim Junsu. He is our future boss. He is married to Kim Taeyeon, my boss’ eldest daughter. I think Junsu is borderline mentally challenged. He can’t even go through a powerpoint presentation without electrocuting himself. He is a very nice guy though. I think I would be friends with him if I were not as introvert as I am in the office.
It is very weird to have my officemates and Summer here in my party. It is even weirder that everyone seems to know everyone else. I’m the stranger in my own home. Great.
But to be honest, there is something familiar about having this set of people together in a setting like this. I just can’t pinpoint at the moment. Jaejoong and Yunho are exchanging meaningful glances. So I guess the office rumor is true then.
Victoria clears her throat and I remember that she is still there.
“A toast to Changmin,” she says while holding up her glass.
“To Changmin,” they echoed and glasses clinked. This is all too familiar. I could almost swear, I had this dream before. Victoria wasn’t in that dream.
“To Changmin,” Junsu always had a five second lag. “I’m glad that you and Summer are back together.”
Victoria dropped her glass and it shattered on the floor. Everyone is on a standstill. Yoochun elbowed Junsu and everyone’s faces are undecipherable. What did he mean by that?
Yunho quickly comes to pick up the pieces of the broken glass while Victoria runs out the door.
“Vic! What is going on?” I don’t know what I’m asking her about. I’m just so confused right now. It seemed that everyone knows something that I don’t. Something really important.
I run after her and find her at the fire exit. Vic is crying. I pull her into my arms and hug her. I have never seen her cry before and I don’t really like seeing her cry now. She is my best friend. She is family. She is all I have now. I sometimes wish that I could just fall in love with her, the way I am supposed to but it just doesn’t happen.
“I’m sorry. Changmin, I’m so sorry.” She cries to my shoulder. I don’t know why but I feel sorry too. Maybe it’s because I know that she is crying because of me even if I don’t know exactly for what reason.
“I don’t understand Vic. I… I just met Summer. And I like her. I really do. I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t. But I’m so confused. Today has been… I don’t know. I don’t understand.” My hands fall to my side.
“Go back to her. I’ll never win you over. No matter how many times you erase her, you would still end up falling in love with her over and over again.” I step back looking at Vic with fixed eyes. There is a tug in my heart with the words she said.
“She’s getting married. I’m sorry Vic. I know I told you I wanted to try again and …”
“Just go back to her!” Vic has never shouted at me before. “I know you don’t understand right now and I know how you are dying to be with her. I thought that if you erased her… maybe we could have another chance. There could be us again. But that’s clearly not the case. Changmin, I’m sorry. I can’t be so selfish to try to keep you away from her.”
She walks back to my apartment, dragging her heels this time. Summer is gone and so is everyone else except for Yoochun.
“I guess we’d have to tell him after all.” He mutters while plaintively looking at Vic. Vic flops herself down the sofa. Her face shows no emotion now. She reaches inside her bag and lifelessly reaches out to me a small card.
Dear Miss Victoria Song,
Shim Changmin has erased Choi Sooyoung a.k.a. Summer from his memory. Please never mention their relationship to him again.
- Lacuna Inc.
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