Memories of Summer

Act 13: Joy of Summer

What were your happiest moments with Summer?

I was happy when I was with her. Happy when she smiled. Happy when she laughed. Happy when she flicked my forehead when I lost a round of "Will It Be A Girl or A Boy" as we ate strawberry ice cream at the park.

Just happy.

Very happy.

I've never known such happiness before she came into my life. It was as if when she walked through that door, she reduced all my life before her into a pitiful chain of empty laughter and other insignificant events I honestly could have lived without. I was merely waiting for her.

Waiting for her to make my mundane into a lovely disaster.

I couldn’t compare anything to the happiness I had with her. The sad thing is, knowing that, I came to deal with the fact that I will never be happy with anyone else, anything else. Everything will be an artificial recreation of the joy I knew with her. Because deep in my heart, I know nothing will ever compare.

Victoria is a beautiful person. But it's just that it's not her. I could go try find someone new. I did. Many times I did. Have a drink or two, but never get past through the formalities of hi hello and how do you do.

When they laugh, I'd look for her smile. I'll ask them about their interests, their hobbies. But I would just compare and remember what Summer liked to do. What we liked to do. We would eat dinner then I’d remember that what she ordered was Summer’s favorite. When we have coffee, I’d smell vanilla and think of touching her soft hair. And when I finally walk home alone, I would find myself at her old doorstep.

She is a bad habit to break but I had to try. But each time I did, it was as if the world would jab me in the face and mockingly tell me that it’s impossible. She’s so deep within me that when she left there was a gaping hole. A hole that I can never patch up no matter what.